I am what I am.....
So, how did I become the person I am today? Good question:) I'll tell you a bit abut myself.
I have always had a passion for metaphysics (and for Harrison Ford, but he's another topic altogether) - always. Being brought up in a catholic home was, well, restricting - and I rebelled. I had a very hard time believing that if I did not follow the rules of the church to a "T" that I would go to hell after death. I mean, come on - if God is all forgiving (as he is) why would he send you to repent your sins for all eternity? To me - didn't make sense - not even at age 5, which was when I started asking about being "born again" (reincarnation) to the new priest. He humored my questions about life, death and the afterlife until I was 18 and moved out of my home. I've been to church I think5 or 6 times since I moved out and I'll be 38 this year. This is something else I could never understand - if God is everywhere, then why must I go into a church to talk to him? I preferred to chat to him anytime and if I wanted some peace during our talk, then I would relax outside, in the woods or by a stream. I still do this.
I thought to myself one day - when the time comes and I'm at the end of my life - what will hurt more: the things I tried and failed at or the things that I was too scared to do, the "What if's". I hate "What if's" so I made the decision that day to live my life the way I wanted to and to try to help others live their lives.
I read a lot about anything in the metaphysical realm. I have books on past lives, life between lives, witchcraft, numerology, candle magic, herbs, many books on stones/crystals, healing, astral travel, feng shui, aromatherapy, tarot, runes, angels, spirit guides, dreams and dream travel. You know what I'm missing - a book on soul mates. Is there a book out there that deals solely on soul mates and soul circles? If there is - can you let me know? If not - maybe I ought to write one.
I have been a collector of stones/crystals since I could walk. My house has them all over the place - most of them though are in my home office. I am the keeper of the most amazing wand I've ever seen. The man I adopted it from could only give me a sketchy history on it - made by a man named "Hawk" in Cleveland Ohio back in the 90's and it was featured in "Lapidary" magazine. It has a copper tube, with a suede wrap. On the copper end there is a generator quartz crystal with a rhodochrosite - moonstone - rhodochrosite - larimar, larimar stone, moldivate - emerald - ruby - parti sapphire, larimar stone - all intertwined with copper. The other end is silver and on the end is a larimar egg with two rows of lapis - sugilite - larimar and one row of rose quartz - sugilite - larimar - all intertwined with silver. The man at first was not going to sell to me - said it was simply not for sale. I knew it belonged with me - so I told him everything is for sale - how much does he want? He named a price and I paid it. Since that day my husband worries every time I go to a gem/mineral show or something arrives from eBay:)
Through meditation and my past life regression + my spontaneous glimpses about past lives, I have discovered that my lesson in this lifetime is patience. I'm not a very patience person - just ask my family:) But - I have improved dramatically over the last several years. Maybe that was why the Divine let me know who my primary soul mate (from now on I'll say PSM) #1 was back in 2002 and who PSM #2 in 2004. Do you know how frustrating it is to know WHO they are, WHAT they do, WHERE they live and not be able to do anything about it? It's quite maddening really. It tests my patience all the time - especially if I'm in Calif. I know it'll all come together - I had a premonition on how it would all work out - but I'm not going to print that just yet as it'll happen within the next year, so I'll write then:) But between that knowledge, my child, my husband (who is my exact opposite) and trying to get a screenplay sold in Hollywood - I'm tested every darn day. I pray that I'm learning what I'm supposed to so that I don't have to do this again.
I'm not sure where my optimism stems from. I've always been a "glass is half full" kind of girl. Life is hard enough without always worrying about everything. My husband - has got to be the biggest pessimist I've ever met. We cancel each other out most days. Maybe part of my natural optimism is my belief that we are what we think. In other words - if what I thought was negativity, then that would be the order I would put out to the universe and that is what the universe would return to me. Same goes for positive thoughts = positive returns. If everything were made up of energy - then why wouldn't our thoughts affect that energy?
Everyday I try to do something nice for someone else. I also permitted myself daydream time. I try to get to the "Y" 3 x a week for weight training and 5 days a week for swimming - but the swimming I've been lacking on. I also try to meditate every day. Since I've been back from CA, I've only meditated once and that was last night. I contribute to animal and nature charities and I also sponsor a woman in Nigeria who is trying to get back on her feet.
I want to relearn how to ride horses (it's been 20 years, so I need some lessons), learn Tai Chi and how to fence. I've been fascinated with sword fighting for what seems like forever - when I was 10 it was really fueled by "Star Wars". I'm good at it and I've never had any lessons. I could sword fight with the teenage boys next door as they've played "war" since the 1st Lord of the Rings movie back in what - 2001?
I have days where I'm full of confidence and other days where I would rather stay in bed. I'd have to say though, I have more confidence days than not. I'm rarely ever depressed and if I am - it never lasts long - maybe a day or two at the most. It's the worst really when either PSM #1 or #2 is depressed as I can feel their emotions and them mine. So if they are both having a bad day I'm pretty well screwed. But if they are both having a good day - well watch out!
I try to absorb as much knowledge as I can every day.
My dreams are so active and I travel so much at night - that talking about this subject should be a whole different entry. But I'm naturally predisposed to travel the Dreamscape.
I'm not sure if this fully answers the question that someone asked about how I got to who I am today, but I hoped it at least help you understand who I am.
I believe I've babbled on enough for one day. I've got to get up at 4:00 am tomorrow to make the Easter ham:)
Take care,
Allie ;)
I have always had a passion for metaphysics (and for Harrison Ford, but he's another topic altogether) - always. Being brought up in a catholic home was, well, restricting - and I rebelled. I had a very hard time believing that if I did not follow the rules of the church to a "T" that I would go to hell after death. I mean, come on - if God is all forgiving (as he is) why would he send you to repent your sins for all eternity? To me - didn't make sense - not even at age 5, which was when I started asking about being "born again" (reincarnation) to the new priest. He humored my questions about life, death and the afterlife until I was 18 and moved out of my home. I've been to church I think5 or 6 times since I moved out and I'll be 38 this year. This is something else I could never understand - if God is everywhere, then why must I go into a church to talk to him? I preferred to chat to him anytime and if I wanted some peace during our talk, then I would relax outside, in the woods or by a stream. I still do this.
I thought to myself one day - when the time comes and I'm at the end of my life - what will hurt more: the things I tried and failed at or the things that I was too scared to do, the "What if's". I hate "What if's" so I made the decision that day to live my life the way I wanted to and to try to help others live their lives.
I read a lot about anything in the metaphysical realm. I have books on past lives, life between lives, witchcraft, numerology, candle magic, herbs, many books on stones/crystals, healing, astral travel, feng shui, aromatherapy, tarot, runes, angels, spirit guides, dreams and dream travel. You know what I'm missing - a book on soul mates. Is there a book out there that deals solely on soul mates and soul circles? If there is - can you let me know? If not - maybe I ought to write one.
I have been a collector of stones/crystals since I could walk. My house has them all over the place - most of them though are in my home office. I am the keeper of the most amazing wand I've ever seen. The man I adopted it from could only give me a sketchy history on it - made by a man named "Hawk" in Cleveland Ohio back in the 90's and it was featured in "Lapidary" magazine. It has a copper tube, with a suede wrap. On the copper end there is a generator quartz crystal with a rhodochrosite - moonstone - rhodochrosite - larimar, larimar stone, moldivate - emerald - ruby - parti sapphire, larimar stone - all intertwined with copper. The other end is silver and on the end is a larimar egg with two rows of lapis - sugilite - larimar and one row of rose quartz - sugilite - larimar - all intertwined with silver. The man at first was not going to sell to me - said it was simply not for sale. I knew it belonged with me - so I told him everything is for sale - how much does he want? He named a price and I paid it. Since that day my husband worries every time I go to a gem/mineral show or something arrives from eBay:)
Through meditation and my past life regression + my spontaneous glimpses about past lives, I have discovered that my lesson in this lifetime is patience. I'm not a very patience person - just ask my family:) But - I have improved dramatically over the last several years. Maybe that was why the Divine let me know who my primary soul mate (from now on I'll say PSM) #1 was back in 2002 and who PSM #2 in 2004. Do you know how frustrating it is to know WHO they are, WHAT they do, WHERE they live and not be able to do anything about it? It's quite maddening really. It tests my patience all the time - especially if I'm in Calif. I know it'll all come together - I had a premonition on how it would all work out - but I'm not going to print that just yet as it'll happen within the next year, so I'll write then:) But between that knowledge, my child, my husband (who is my exact opposite) and trying to get a screenplay sold in Hollywood - I'm tested every darn day. I pray that I'm learning what I'm supposed to so that I don't have to do this again.
I'm not sure where my optimism stems from. I've always been a "glass is half full" kind of girl. Life is hard enough without always worrying about everything. My husband - has got to be the biggest pessimist I've ever met. We cancel each other out most days. Maybe part of my natural optimism is my belief that we are what we think. In other words - if what I thought was negativity, then that would be the order I would put out to the universe and that is what the universe would return to me. Same goes for positive thoughts = positive returns. If everything were made up of energy - then why wouldn't our thoughts affect that energy?
Everyday I try to do something nice for someone else. I also permitted myself daydream time. I try to get to the "Y" 3 x a week for weight training and 5 days a week for swimming - but the swimming I've been lacking on. I also try to meditate every day. Since I've been back from CA, I've only meditated once and that was last night. I contribute to animal and nature charities and I also sponsor a woman in Nigeria who is trying to get back on her feet.
I want to relearn how to ride horses (it's been 20 years, so I need some lessons), learn Tai Chi and how to fence. I've been fascinated with sword fighting for what seems like forever - when I was 10 it was really fueled by "Star Wars". I'm good at it and I've never had any lessons. I could sword fight with the teenage boys next door as they've played "war" since the 1st Lord of the Rings movie back in what - 2001?
I have days where I'm full of confidence and other days where I would rather stay in bed. I'd have to say though, I have more confidence days than not. I'm rarely ever depressed and if I am - it never lasts long - maybe a day or two at the most. It's the worst really when either PSM #1 or #2 is depressed as I can feel their emotions and them mine. So if they are both having a bad day I'm pretty well screwed. But if they are both having a good day - well watch out!
I try to absorb as much knowledge as I can every day.
My dreams are so active and I travel so much at night - that talking about this subject should be a whole different entry. But I'm naturally predisposed to travel the Dreamscape.
I'm not sure if this fully answers the question that someone asked about how I got to who I am today, but I hoped it at least help you understand who I am.
I believe I've babbled on enough for one day. I've got to get up at 4:00 am tomorrow to make the Easter ham:)
Take care,
Allie ;)
posted by Allie @ 6:31 PM
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