I'm Still Alive And I Have A New Guide!

I need to put myself back into the land of the living instead of drowning in the - going through the motions. At least I have my wits about me and I can think with a clear head. Last week was horrible but not as bad as the week before and I'm going to bank on this week being better than last week. Just so you know -- I'm not in trouble with the law, I'm not being sued - I'm not in any deep water at all. My self-esteem and self-confidence is just fine -- I am just incredibly pissed off. But that's all I can tell you as someone who has had a hand in my life course diversion has been checking out this blog to see what I write. So until I know that my ducks are in a row and accounted for -- I am keeping my mouth shut. I had someone ask me if I was going to place a curse on whoever or whatever has done me wrong. No need to -- karma will take care of it -- this I know.

That said - I want to thank all of you who have sent me emails full of light, love and support. They have been greatly appreciated and I know that I would not be doing as well as I am right now if it wasn't for the love and the light that you guys have sent my way. I am eternally grateful.

I'm not one to ask for help unless I really need it so you know what I am about to ask I really need. I need money. It's not a want or a desire - but a very big need. I have a donation button here and on the main site. Or - please just spread my name around - what I do and my services - my URL. Anything for me to have work and to make money. I really wish I could tell you why I need the money so bad -- someday I will be able to spill all.

BTW...I have more emails that I have to return than I know what to do with. Please be patient and do not email or call me to find out why I haven't gotten back to you. I'll get there - eventually.

I've had a new guide show up through all of this. His name is Ethan. He is a very strong energy - a very wise energy. I haven't been able to get a good look at him yet. I ask why he has come forth at this point in time - he replied - I'm here to see you the rest of the way. I am your strength, your bedrock of fortitude. I am your wisdom when common sense eludes you. I am the light in your darkest hour. We are not two, but one - of one energy, of one holiness. Draw on me when you cannot take that next step. I will never be away from your side - you will never walk alone.

He shows me a very large and old book. But I haven't been able to read what it says inside. He says that it will come when the time is right. He also has told me that he is a connection between me and Will. He is a guide for both of us and that is no accident.

I'm tired -- today has been a long day. I have meds from the doctor to help lower my stress/anxiety so that my blood pressure goes back to the norm (114/65) instead of 220/110 - and so I'm not so pissed all the time (or should I say when I'm not working I'm pissed. Having work has helped me keep my sanity). But I'm trying to calm myself down. One way for me to do that is to go to sleep -- and I think that'll I'll do that right now.

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)