I'm My Own Narc!

My book on Kyra keeps dancing through my mind today. With all of the other things I have going on - I'm surprised this is as persistent as it is. But all day, ever since I woke up it has been right there in my mind. Maybe there is a huge chunk of me saying - alright already -- it's been 13 years -- write the damn book! I must admit -- that is pretty sad. Maybe once I'm done with this screenwriting class I might take a class that forces me to write a novel. Oh wait -- I have been in such a class -- for 10 years. Yeah - just like college I am a forever senior. See how bad I am -- and I tell my clients not to procrastinate so much!

Let me think about this -- what is standing in my way time wise to writing the darn novel? My gypsy magic dream book -- yes I know -- I know--it should of been done last year -- and it's almost there! And what else? The screenwriting class - which should of been done this week looks like it is going on till my b-day in May. What else fuels my level of procrastination? Sleep, LOST, The L Word, 4 blogs, a column, a podcast, a daily horoscope and very soon -- a serial story and a couple of monthly erotica commitments. And oh yes -- readings, classes and workshops -- a husband, a son five cats and two dogs. I wonder if I can suck my whole family in to really beef it up?

I suck.

And I've been doing enough readings over the years that I know the excuses.

Pathetic -- simply pathetic. Maybe by narc-ing on myself it will fuel my drive....humm...yes, I think narc-ing is a wonderful idea.

I've tried all day to do a session. But when I start to get into one, all I see is white - for as long as the eye can see. It's everywhere and that is all I can see - the white. No sounds, no color, no people, no words, no nothing. It's very odd because something normally comes up. What it reminds me of is a clean slate, That things have been written yet so that they are within my control. It all depends if I zig or zag. It could have something to do wit the Kyra saga. If I start to outline now - things will go a certain way - if I don't - then I take a different path. I'm at one of those junctures. I can hear a bell going off inside my head. Guides - why do the smart asses always find me:) So that's it -- I need to outline now -- before LOST comes on. One look at Sawyer and I could lose my train of thought!

Okay - I have an hour -- let's see what I can get done!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie ;)

Dreamscape, Astralscape And Merging!

I need to coin a phrase that is uniquely my own. One that describes things I do but in a better way than I currently have it. For example - my Empowerment Classes. They sound good - but I don't think they get to the essence of what I'm teaching about -- although I want people to take charge of their own lives - therefore empowering themselves. I just don't think people get what I mean. If they did, I'd have more people taking the classes - right? Humm.....it'll come to mean eventually...probably as I'm snoozing:)

Speaking about snoozing, I want to tell you about the dream visit that changed into an astral visit last night. Because of this crappy cold I have, sleeping is very difficult to do. I spend most of my time waking up and trying to find another spot to sleep where I can breath. One of the times I drifted off to sleep, I placed myself at my dream altar as I wanted to visit with Ted. When I'm at my dream altar, I have a certain crystal I move that activates the dream gate so that when I pass through, I know I'll go to Ted. I have this same routine with Bill and Will as well - they each have their own stone/crystal.

When I went through the dream gate, I saw Ted. Next to him was this odd looking creature. I say odd as this person did not really have a body. They were more of a bodiless blob, but they were beneath a cloak - the same kind I like to wear when I approach my dream altar. I heard this voice tell me that I need to wake up and go into the astral plane as he tells me that I have to remember this experience. Ted is supposed to do the same. I ask what are we going to visit. I hear that the where doesn't matter - it's the "what" that I have to take back with me. SIGH. Okay -- so I wake myself up and go into astral mode.

The astral plane of course was dark and dreary at first because it was that way outside. And - things were very fuzzy. So I said the clarity now speech and things cleared up. I focused in on that person blob and shot right to him - the trip there felt like I was going straight down in the world's tallest roller coaster and I was in the front seat! Oh my poor tummy! When I stopped I was at a place that I had been to before - during a past session.

The chairs that remind me of thrones are all in place. The chairs move about on a main and are different colors. My chair is violet looking on the floor. I go to sit in it, but the voice tells me to come up onto the platform. I look at Ted and telepathically ask if he knows what is going on - he assures me that he doesn't. Bill also arrives and is just as lost as we are. I ask this person what we are here to know. The thing turns and even through there wasn't a face, the air changed instantly to freezing cold and I could have sworn I saw evil. Without a second thought, me, Ted and Bill merged into one. Together, we had more energy flowing through our energy fields than I had ever felt before. The blob turned and - for lack of a better way of putting this - shot some sort of beam of light at us. We deflected it and shot it right back to him. The blob disappeared - we became separate. Then from the ground the blob returned, but before we could do anything, the blob turned into Will. He smiled at us and said see - as a team we are more powerful than we are separate - we merge as soon as we have a hint of danger. He goes on to say that if just one of us was not here, we couldn't merge like that - it has to be all three. We all have to work together as a team. I ask Will why was it him that had us do this and are we some sort of astral -- Ted chimes in -- super people. Will smiles again and says that he is a mentor of us three - that us 4 came into existence at the same time with him being more of a mentor -a wise one - than a participant in the powers we posses. And yes, in a way we are like super people. But it's so much more than that.

I told him that I'm lost here and I don't understand all of this. Bill and Ted agreed with me. Will says that it didn't matter if we understood it - just that we had the knowledge and retained that knowledge. He then looks at Bill and Ted and asked what were they going to do now? Before I could hear an answer, I heard my cats fighting in the distance and that made me think of my body -- which brought me right back. I tried to get to Bill and Ted via a dream visit last night to see what else had happened - but if they told me I do not consciously remember.

And that's what happened. I'm not sure I get the whole scope of it -- but then again, I don't think that I'm supposed to. I hope that Bill and Ted remembered this...and Will too. I findit interesting that at the hint of danger we merged into one being.

Donning my part as Alison Ashby on The L Word tonight at 10:00 est instead of 8:00 pm est. Sure hope I can stay awake - LOL.

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)

The Secret, Dream Visits And Validation!

About a month or so ago I asked my Goddess Brigit, if I could have some sort of validation for what I see or what I do. On any subject I asked - just something, somewhere so that I know I'm on the right path. Well, ask and you shall receive...

I have been telling my clients for over 20 years how important thought is to their lives. You are what you think -- your reality is created by your thoughts. For those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile, you know how many times I have said this. This is one of the major reasons I stopped casting spells for people and wrote my Gypsy Magic books - their energy (because of their thought process) was the most important energy for the spell to work. So why pay someone else to do a spell when the most important part is you?

Just a couple of weeks ago I got blasted by a client of mine when I tried to explain that if she changed the way she would think, then she would change the way her life is evolving. After letting me know that I was full of more shit then she just dumped into her toilet ( I know, nice visual huh?).....I saw that Oprah show about "The Secret". What is that secret you ask??? Well if you don't know by now it is the law of attraction - you are what you think! HA! Validation -- I did the happy dance. I have been right all these years -- I have been telling people the right things.....I was so happy to know that I was on the right path. Granted - there is nothing in "The Secret" that was news to me -- nadda - zip. It was the validation that made me so happy and the fact that Oprah believed it made it that much more sweet.

Long readers of this blog will also know my tales of dream visits. I have been dream walking and visiting others and the deceased in dreams for as long as I can remember - all the way back to age 4. This little bit about me has been very hard to convince others that this is possible - that I can do this and I know so can they. Out of the hundreds of books I own and the thousands that I've sifted through - there has not been one book to validate what I experience. No way for me to show someone else that it is not all in my mind. You know me with things -- I am a skeptical person until I can some how prove a point to myself or to someone else. I never take anything at face value.

So imagine my complete and utter delight when I came across a book called - Psychic Dreamwalking! Here it is - a book that produces proof that I am not the only one. What the author, Michelle Belanger, wrote is not new to me - none of it. In fact - it is almost word for word what I go through -- what I have been going through my entire life. But it's the validation -- the knowledge that all of my dream visits have not been in my head. That there is a difference between a normal dream and a dream visit - that other people do create a dream altar (I think Michelle called it a dream haven)....it is such a blessed relief. And one of the nicest things -- she lives maybe 30 minutes from me. Can you believe that?

I'm just beside myself. I asked for some validation -- and by Goddess, Brigit gave it to me.

I'm a happy camper I am.

I'll post another entry later about the dream visit I had that turned into some astral travel. What a night I had!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie ;)

Astral Sex, Dream Sex And Telepathic Sex!

I have such good news to tell you about where Whispers Media is concerned -- and I can't tell you yet! I have to wait until the ink is dry but this is a great move for us and for taking the new women sexual revolution to next step! I hope that in a few days I can clue you in...and I thought that I was busy now! HAHAHA...I'll have a good laugh on that later on.

My radio/podcast with Gabreael went great on Wednesday! We had a blast chatting it up about astral sex, Whispers Media and more sex! I think though that I misunderstood a question. I took her to ask: Do I believe in nymphomaniacs? After I was explaining that yes I think there are some and what I term a nympho to be -- I could of sworn I heard Gab say that the question was if I was a nympho! We moved straight ahead and I never did get to ask if that's what was said. But why do people have to turn a person who enjoys sex and who thinks that sexual satisfaction is important to all people into a person who is a sex addict and wants to have sex 24/7 regardless who it is with? Just because I love sex does not mean that I am consumed by it 24/7. I have MANY other interests in life and I only have 24 hours in a day:) I spend many a waking hour and sleep time engaged in other activities. So to whomever asked - the answer is NO - I'm not a nympho.

Another person wanted to know if cyber sex is considered cheating on their partner (and I've been asked this before) - and I said yes. They then had a come back to - well then isn't astral sex cheating as well? I said no, there are no physical parts involved in astral sex. Then they chimed back - there are not physical parts merging in cyber sex either. SIGH. Gab jumped in and said it is a difference of opinion here, I think she wanted to divert a potential hot spot - my comment was it looks like the person is trying to find a way out of a guilty conscious - needs to justify his or her behavior as not cheating. Let me tell ya - once the partner finds out about the cyber sex - all hell will break lose.

Now -- since I have the time to tell you what I feel is the difference between cyber sex and astral/dream sex - I will.

Cyber sex: To become sexually aroused by another person to a point where you masturbate simultaneously to an orgasm. Right? So instead of your partner getting you to have an orgasm, you are taking it into your own hands – literally. So your physical body part is being used for solo sexual satisfaction. The cyber sex person is taking the place of your flesh and blood partner.

Astral/dream sex: To become sexually aroused and engage in energetic sex with another person's energy. In the astral/dream state, energy can be manipulated to a point where it feels and looks like physical body parts are merging -- but they are only energy and not actual physical parts. This can lead to an orgasm in the physical body, although this is rare. In most cases a person would return from their astral travel or wake up from a dream and be so sexual turned on that they would have to take care of it upon waking and it would be a MUST to take care of, this isn't something that you can walk off. If they are involved with a flesh and blood partner - the partner benefits from this astral turn on by engaging in physical sex with their partner.

If in a physical relationship with someone - both partners win with the astral/dream sex. In the cyber sex, only the partner engaged in the cyber sex wins.

Make sense?

Now there is also telepathic sex. I know -- another one? And what in the heck is this? Let me see if I can explain: your brain is your #1 sexual organ. Just by what you think or fantasize about - you can turn yourself on to a heightened arousal - or turn yourself so off that even the one person who you think is HOT couldn't turn you on again. So your brain is EXTREMELY important when it comes to sex. With telepathic sex, you are using your brain power only. Your brain waves connect with another's brain wave in your minds eye you can see and feel the sexual act taking place. Like astral/dream sex, when the connection is broken you could have had an orgasm (this is without your own physical help) or you are so turned on that you go to your flesh and blood partner for a sexual (if single, you take care of it on your own) release. Can you tell if you make the connection with another person or if it is just a fantasy? Yes you can. How? Just as you can tell with a telepathic communication - you have that zing of energy and a warm flow over your body (other people have been known to get a headache or tremble) when you have that telepathic connection. If this factor is missing in the telepathic sex, then you are simply having a fantasy and not the telepathic sex.

BTW -- in case you didn't know I'm giving a workshop and an e-class on astral sex, astral travel and the dream connection:

February 20th Workshop: Discover Your Dreams And Astral Travel
http://www.gypsyadvice.com/empowermentworkshops.htm

February 21st - March 3rd: Astral Sex http://www.gypsyadvice.com/empowermenteclasses.htm

If you miss either this time around they will not be back until maybe May or June.

Food for thought indeed! Have a great day!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie ;)

Astral Sex, Dreams, Finding Help And Ted!

Don't forget to catch me in, Sex With Allie, with Gabreael live during "A Glimpse Through The Veil ", tonight, Feb 14th from 9 - 10 pm EST!
http://www.easternparanormal.com/Paranormal_Radio_Show_A_Gli.html

Gab and I are chat it up on one of my favorite subjects - sex. Physical sex, astral sex...no holds bar sex. But knowing us, who knows where this conversation could go! Stop by ask questions, get involved or just say hi:)

If you have a question for me (We were swamped with astral sex questions the last time I was on, so yes this is a no holds bar show. Ask away) please email Gabreael to ask me on the air at:

radioguest@easternparanormal.com

The chat on The L Word's Second Life went well Monday night until the grid crashed and we all got kicked off. We were right in the middle of talking about some really cool sex toys too - humph! But I will be back next week - maybe at a later time - 10:00 pm EST. It's up to me if I want the time change and I'm considering it. I'll let you know.

Snow - man did we get nailed. I haven't seen it this bad in at least 10 - 15 years. It's not as bad here as in upstate NY. But it is still bad enough to have businesses shut down and the kids off from another day of school. My kid is liking these snows days way too much:)

I've tried 3 or 4 times to go into a session today and it just isn't happening. All I keep seeing is me being very very busy - writing, speaking and doing radio shows (my own and being a guest on others). Then it all goes dark and I hear Jezell tell me to 1) hire a manager 2) hire a publicist 3) hire a assistant. Now, I think all ideas are great. BUT - where would one find a manager that would manage my readings (book me for psychic fairs), schedule workshops, manage my books, my screenplays, my writing, my column, my blogs, podcast and hopefully upcoming radio show? Where does one find a creative metaphysical manager? I don't have a clue either. The publicist would be great - but I'd like to find one who wouldn't charge an arm and a leg and also the assistant -- but again, money plays in. Maybe I could live with the assistant and the publicist? I don't have a clue. But I cannot get any further than this, so it must be pretty damn important that I do something if the Divine wall not let me past this point today. So it's all under advisement.

Now Will has taken a back seat for now, and Bill is coming in and out. Seems like Bill's busy, but he wants to stay in touch. I keep hearing him tell me that no soul flies closer to me than him - no soul. Ted - he is staying in my energy field but on the outskirts. It's weird, because I can feel him, but he's not "right there" which is what I'm used to when it comes to one of the guys hanging out. I asked him if there is something that I could do for him - since he is hanging about. And he simply replies that he needs the comfort of my energy. He won't elaborate and I'm not going to push. He was in the tail end of my dream visits last night. He had to go to work but didn't want to. We were in what appeared to be an underground lake, man made. And there was a huge cement tunnel that he had to go through that he didn't want to. He, I and someone else were in the water and he said he had a butt cramp. So here I am massaging his butt when I wake up. I had to laugh. That was a first.

Now my dreams are still going on that hotel theme. Every night I am in a hotel getting ready to check out. They are all nice hotels and I know that I am there for work. This last one though had me climb into a two person, light green metal elevator with a Hispanic man. He fiddled with this pressure gauge in it and up we went, 9 stories. I had my eyes closed and he said not to worry that nothing would happen to me. Then we shot under the busy roads in some old, yet sturdy tunnel and came out on the other side of the roads at a very old brick building. When I asked him what this used to house, he said it was the old Westinghouse plant - and so was the place we just came from. The elevator system was used to get people back and forth between the two plants. He jumped up and went to find the part that would fix whatever I needed to get into in order to get home. I had to stay there and guard the elevator, which after we shot out of this tunnel was horizontal and not vertical.

Now my grandfather, William (we called him Bill), worked for Westinghouse as a young man. I don't know if that ties into anything, but I knew that connection as soon as I awoke. The other part of my dreams I remember is that I was driving and took the wrong expressway - I took 77N instead of 71N. Now when it came to a spot for me to do a u-turn, I did, in front of a State Highway Patrol post and as I did it I saw a sign that had I kept going straight the next exit would have taken me to 71N. I heard a voice tell me that I'm taking the long way but I'll make my destination and if I want to speed things up, it is in my control.

Also - last night while I'm remembering -- I was a bank teller again and my drawer was 36 dollars short. But I knew that was BS and so did everyone else. I kept telling them it was a computer glitch. Now when I was a bank teller in real life - many years ago - my drawer did come up short $900 and we were having computer problems that day. I never took the money- yet I was written up for it. About a year or so after I quit the bank - I found out that the head teller had been manipulating the computers and stealing money. Guess I know where that $900 went!

One last thing before I go -- Ted keeps wanting me to go back to the meadow with him. He's ancy about it -- I keep telling him that it is not a good idea for him to ever go back there without all of us with him - not just me. He is insistent that there is something there for just me and him -- but I have no urge to go.

Have a great day!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)

Spidey Sense, Change And The Gang's All Here!

You have all heard of Spiderman right? He has his spidey sense when he senses something is about to happen. Well, Allie's spidey sense is on overdrive. My nerves are hanging out on the outside of my body and are posed and ready to assimilate any information that comes their way. I can tell something is about to happen. I can smell it. I don't know what - don't know if it's good or bad -- I just know that something major is about to happen. Now is this major something that affects me or people as a whole? Good question. I know that it severely affects me. But the sense I get about affecting other people -- is mixed. Quite possibly by the trickle down affect. So this whatever will happen to me - and then based on what I do - then other people are effected. I feel greatly affected. Damn, I wish I could pull in more.

What I can see are round shiny silver balls, almost like solid silver spheres. Some are large, others are very small and can zing across the room. No, I have no clue what in the heck that means. But there is also a red liquid and a white tarp or blanket? The color green is everywhere and it all feels so sterile. For some reason I can see Will. He's sitting in a seat and his hands are reaching for me. The seat reminds me of one you would see in the Space Shuttle or maybe in a Virtual Reality simulator. Speaking of which, can you imagine having the rooms they did on Star Trek where anything was possible - any world, any person, any situation and it was all so real like. What were those rooms called? I'm drawing a blank. But just imagine being able to pay to be in a room where all of your fantasies could come true - if even for a short time. Humm...you know who I'd have in there -- Sawyer from LOST. Good God that man is hot:) Just a few hours and I'd be on a high that may last weeks:)

Okay, reel me back in -- now where was I? Oh yes, Will. He wants me to sit in the seat next to him and hold his hand. Hummm....then there's nothing. Now I can see lights - going off everywhere to a point where it really makes me squint to see. I can hear my name being yelled out -someone or something wants my attention. Will and I are on -- Oprah? Huh? What in the heck are we doing there? He and I are sitting on stage discussing something about our connection -- I'm not able to see or hear any more.

Brigit comes over from the right and asks me if I'm okay. I tell her that I'm great. She says - you said you were ready. I reply - yes I am - let it begin. She smiles and says that she knew Jezell would be able to talk to me. She fades and Larry appears! I'm so happy to see him! And by that wicked smile, he's happy to see me too. He tells me that whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, to call out to him and he will make sure to calm the energies around me. He swears that nothing will happen to me. Now John appears next to him - the men shake hands and Larry goes.

John and I are in a cave. I should be freezing, but I'm not. He and I are talking about a few things and I looked at him and asked if at any time in any life if we've slept together? He stops thinks about it for a second, then says no. I said good. He smiles and says that sleeping with me would be like sleeping with his sister - and we both agree that it's a yuck! We find that part funny and yet refreshing that we never will have to worry about a physical relationship in bed. He says that it has always been his job to protect the circle and it's a job that he does not take lightly. He goes on to tell me that I will need the most of his protection over the next several months and he will be at my call - while Will, Bill and Ted will be there to love me. I ask if he knows what in the hell is about to happen that everyone is coming up to me? That is when Peter and Clive arrive. Wow - do the two of them look good. I ask them the same sex question that John and I were just talking about -- and they both gave me the same sister comment. Good:) So with all three there - I had to ask them what is going on. I am assured that no one knows. Except that I will be going through change and a very stressful time.

Great -- I think -- more stress, just what I need. I am told - by Peter - that although this will be stressful, I am assured that it will turn into good stress in time.

And with that everyone gives me a kiss and they are gone.

Boy- that was odd. Telling you what I was seeing via visions and then getting pulled into a session all with interruption. What a flow I had going.

So, am I going to worry about what is coming up? I'll try not too as it appears this is something already in motion!

Don't forget to stop by The L Word on Second Life and visit me in The Planet at 8:00 pm EST tonight for some sex talk!

Have a great day!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)

Jezell, Faith And My Reality!

I wanted to talk to Jezell this morning. I could feel her hanging around on the outskirts of my energy field. My bet is that she knew I was troubled by the comments made yesterday by Bill and Will in regards to divorcing my husband. It's one thing if two people do not get along and decide that they need to go their separate ways or if one is tired of trying to make it work and the other just is not interested -- or even if they have just outgrown one another. But to be told that this has to be done in order to get to the next step didn't sit right with me. Maybe because I don't like being told what I should or should not do. Of course - I do keep asking what is coming up next. In a way this could be viewed as me wanting someone to tell me what to do. But, what it is meant to be is me asking for what the next level or step is - and then me coming up with the path to take to get there. I'm a girl who likes options.

I find Jezell at the meadow. She has a certain spark to her eyes, I don't know, but it's kind of mischievous, yet soothing. We exchange hellos and stroll around the meadow, which is this realm is sunny and in full bloom. She asks how I'm doing after my talk with Bill and Will. I reply that she knows I was not happy with it and I ask - were they right? Is that what really has to happen or where they putting their own personal agenda in there? And what's wrong with Ted - is what they say true about him?

In your heart you know it's true about Ted. He misses you. He yearns every day for you. But how he deals with that it up to him, not you. His life choices are his choice - not yours. Your relationship with your husband has no baring on the next step. What will happen with you two is already set into motion and it is not of your concern. Well, I would think that it should be of my concern - after all it does affect my life and my son's. Jezell nods - correct. But what is in motion cannot be stopped by you or by anyone else on the earthly plane. What is to be is to be. Concern yourself with only the things that are within your control.

That doesn't seem to be much - I add. Oh, there's more than you think that is in your control. For instance - your last book could have been done last year. But it wasn't. You could have had your book done on Kyra as well as the book on your gypsy holocaust story. But no. The time that was given to you, in your control,was spent doing something else. Your reactions to your husband or to any of the men are within your control. How they respond is not up to you. Your health, your spirituality - is all within your control. If it pertains to you -- have control over it. So you see, there are many things in your control.

Nothing like a guide to put things into perspective. Jezell laughs - I'm just doing my job. Speaking of which, when are you going to get that last book done? That really is what the hold up is in your life, the limbo you feel, it's that book. Is that why Robert was pushing me so hard last year to get them done? Jezell nods in agreement. You need to stop fearing what comes next and accept it. You always tell people that change is inevitable and that one should embrace it. Time you lived what you preached.

I stop by this wonderful oak tree and have a seat. But what if I'm no good at it? What if I let people down? Jezell sits next to me. You were born for this -- the path you are on is your human shell's destiny and the final mission of your soul before you become a guide. You have more strength in your pinky finger Allie, then most people have in their entire body. You can move mountains if you wanted to -- but you have to have the faith that you can. No one can give that faith to you.

All I can do is to stare off into space. My mind is blank and I am actually speechless.

She takes my hand and moves my head so that I am looking at her. Remember when you first discovered Bill? Yes. That shook your world didn't it? Yes it did. It changed everything that I was brought up to believe. But, Jezell says, you had faith that what you knew was the truth, regardless of what anyone said or your past beliefs. That's correct, I reply.

The same with Ted and then lastly Will - you know in your soul that it is truth - you have the faith - correct? I nod in agreement. Then your mission in this lifetime demands no less show of faith than what you have had in regards to your soul mates and soul circle. Once you accept your role, you will know it is the truth and then your faith will reflect that. In turn, your reality will reflect your faith. You know what you say about thought. Yes, I reply, it is something that I firmly believe in.

You know why you refuse to be told what to do? Because you are a leader, not a follower. Even the greatest of leaders have doubts about their abilities when they allow their human minds and ego to cloud their soul's judgment.

You know what needs to be done. Jezell kisses me on top the head and disappears.

And I'm done.

Time to get to work.

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)

Bill, Will And The Next Step

I have work up to my eyeballs and I'm having a heck of a time trying to get to it. Being sick and having my son home an extra two days really put me behind - plus whatever kind of germs I'm fighting now has me up at night so I'm not sleeping well. Grrrr....

But when I am getting stuff done, I have to be careful that Will or Bill do not invade my thoughts and take me out of work mode. They both have been bothering me to have a session, although I'm not sure if they both want to talk to me about something together or if they want to chat separately. I guess the only way of knowing is to dive in and find out - right?

Have wand will travel....

I am in what appears to be our meadow, although as soon as I notice my surroundings they all seem to disappear. To my right is Will. He gets up and gives me a kiss. Says he's been worried about me since we took our trip back through some of our past lives. He can tell that I haven't been sleeping very well and seem agitated. I told him that while what I saw was disturbing on that trip, it isn't the cause of my sleepless nights. He asks if I knew what it was - and I told him it has to be whatever illness I'm fighting. He says that the illness isn't the root of my problem but a symptom. Once I feel better emotionally and spirituality, the illness will go away. I ask him how to I do that? He says that we're all waiting for me. That we're at a standstill until I make a few modifications to my life.

Modifications? Like what? That is when Bill comes in from my left and the two men embrace in a hello hug and then Bill comes over to me and greets me with a kiss. Bill chimes in that it is time for me to make some changes. Like what is what I want to know. He replies - us three are single - you're not. So you're telling me that I have to get a divorce? And Will chimes in -- and finish your last book. Bill agrees - yes, you have to finish the book first and then get a divorce. You need to be financially stable first before you are single. I'm aware of this I say - but what does me being single have anything to do with the next step?

Bill says - it'll make the next step easier. Easier? For who? For you two and Ted? Will shakes his head -- no, for you - it will help you not worry so much about karma. Well hell guys, why don't you fill me in on what this next step is? I mean, if I have to be prepared and all and you seem to know what's going on - throw me some news.

Can't do that - Will says.

Of course you can't! Because if you did than I won't do this...and that will have a baring on that and yadda...yadda....

Bill comes up to me - I know that this is very frustrating for you, but think about it. If you would have known about Will this time last year would there have been things that you would have skipped over? I think about it -- I'm not sure. I wasn't given the chance to find out.

Keep in mind that not everything is how it seems - Will says. At your home, there are many things that are going on behind the scenes that you do not know about. Should I know about them? Both men shake their heads - no - it's too distracting and will lead me down the wrong path out of anger.

So you want me to finish my book, and then divorce my husband - correct? Well, yes and no -- because you have to earn more money first - says Bill.

You two are giving me such a headache. Where's Ted, why isn't he here?

The guys look at one another. Will clears his throat and replies - he isn't feeling too good right now. I look at Bill - is he sick? Is it the cancer? What's wrong with him? Bill says - depression - he's so deep in the hole of despair that it's hard to reach him. Will jumps in - he's waiting for you. Bill nods in agreement - he knows about you, consciously, but is very depressed as he doesn't know how to go about finding you in real life. Well, he knows where you are - but he doesn't want to approach you. Seeing that you are married and all. So he waits. And the longer he waits, the more alone he feels....

Oh this is insane, I reply. And I've had about enough of you two and your advice. Thanks for stressing me out even more - appreciate it. This session is now over.

And that was that.

So what do I think about what they said? I don't know what to think -- it's not like I'm sleeping well now as it is! I do know for a fact that the last book needs it's final touches and just needs to be done. I keep running up against roadblocks in regards to my readings, classes and workshops - so I'm thinking that isn't where my focus needs to be -- it needs to be on my writing instead. I don't know -- this whole life thing is such a learning experience. But I sure would like a cheat sheet now and again!

Time for some coffee!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)

Merlin, Will And Our Soul's Core!

Although the sun is shinning I feel like royal crap today - sick, sick, sick I am! It is so cold out that they canceled school. The outdoor cat is indoors in my office and I have 4 cats wanting to get in. A fun Monday morning!

I want to jump into a quick session before my son comes up to say hi!

I'm taken rather quickly into Merlin's secret abyss under the falls. He comes to me and give me a hearty hello - he is always happy to see me. Asked if I was ready to get to work, and I think I hesitated too long for he asked - what's wrong? I tell him that I can feel another energy around here and am I being watched by someone. He tells me that I'm astute and waves someone in from behind me. I turn to look and it's Will. He is wearing a cloak with the hood up, he takes the hood off and comes towards me.

I look at Merlin and ask why is he here? He says that Will is my other magical half. That separate we're more powerful than anyone, but together we're unstoppable. I look at Will and ask if he knew this. He says yes. I ask if this is why he wanted me to do the PLR the other day - he says yes. I ask them both why do we need to be unstoppable - what good is that great of a power. A power, I might add, that I'm not too crazy with having. I look at Will and ask if he's using our connection solely to have this power. My tone suggests that I'm not a very happy person at this point in time.

Will tells me to calm down and Merlin tells me to sit down. I can hear Will mumble about that fire in my belly -- or something along those lines.

Merlin drones on and on...this is what I remember him saying -- that in 2012 there will be a huge shift in the world and one where Will and I have to be ready. At this same time will come a discovery of Atlantis - from Bill, Ted and I. I ask about using my magical strength to help with Atlantis and with whatever Will and I are supposed to do. Correct I am told. Why can't Bill and Ted find Atlantis on their own? Will chimes in - they need the power of 3 to unlock it. You three put it in its place all those years ago and you three must unlock it. But what about you Will - what do you have to do with Atlantis? Merlin and Will just look at each other and stay silent. Merlin speaks up - there is a time and a place for you to know things and now is not it. Stop wasting time and let us get on to the lesson at hand.

No, no , no I cry -- not until I understand all this. So us 4 are the soul's core - correct. Merlin nods. I'm magical and a healer - Will is all magical - Bill is a healer and Ted is a healer and a warrior - correct? But isn't there someone who should be all warrior then? Merlin says yes, but you a touch off. Ted is a warrior who has picked up healing from you and Bill - but at his core he is a spiritual warrior. You my dear are also a warrior. This is why you are so fused with all three souls - you are magical, healing and a warrior. You are them and they are you.

I place my head in my hands - this is too much information. Will puts his arm around me - you wanted to know. I'm thinking - ya smart ass I know.

Merlin says - this is why you are so powerful -- it is because you hold the kernels for all three - you are no less powerful than the three of them and you can mix your strengths for outcomes they cannot do.

Will looks over at the long wooden table and holds his hand out. A candle stick flies from the table into his hands. See - Will says - you can do this too.

I'm done for now. I don't feel good anyways and you two have giving me even a bigger headache.

And I left and I'm done.

Okay - so what do I think of the information given? I'm not sure. But if it's true, then how did I get nominated for this job? SIGH. I'm tired just thinking about it.

Have a good day!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie ;)

Past Life Regression, Will And A Telepathic Connetion!

Will has been bothering me since late last night to do a past life regression session with him. No, he didn't actually call me up and suggest this -- it was via telepathy. Started about 10:00 pm Thursday night. I was going my work and he just "popped" into my head. His blue eyes were staring at me so intently. He said then that we should do this, but I was too tired and really didn't want it. During the night, I remember two distinct dream visits where he wanted to do a PLR right then and there. I told him that the odds of us forgetting what we discover are too great during our dreams. So he said we'd try today.

And since I opened my eyes this morning he was been right there , chatting in my ear about come on. I finally asked him if he was sure - and he said yes. I told him that I'm worried about what we might find as there has been a lot of pain associated with our pasts - hence why he sought me put in this life to make up for it. He agreed, but went on to say he thinks it is needed in order for us to take the next step.

So I finally agreed with him -- and here we are. Let me grab my wand and get started....

Okay...now I have to finish crying so that I can tell you what I saw - I'll be right back. Man that was emotional.

DEEP BREATH.

Okay....when I grabbed my wand the 1st thing I saw was Will waiting for me. He gave me a hug and I asked him again if he was sure. He said no - not sure, but he knows that it has to be done. There is a big black hole right on front of us and we jump into it holding hands.

I can see Will as a king or some form of royalty threatening Bill to go away and never come back or his family will die. I recognize this life as a time where I was married to a man (who I now know was Will) I didn't want to be and I was in love with Bill. He and I were to run away together but he never showed. Now I know why. Will - I can see him try to pamper me, to make me love him, but I don't. I see me poison myself and die. He's beside himself.

Will again as royalty - but this time he is the one that give Ted and I the orders to get the children out of the city. This is the life where Ted, myself and the children die horrible deaths by an ambush and where my husband (in my current life) took a dislike to Bill as Bill traded sides and tried to help save us.

Another time Will took a bullet for me and I'm begging him to hold on as help is on the way - he dies in my arms.

Back during the wild west - Will is a Native American, not very old -- maybe 16. And I'm a white girl, around 12 and we're in love. I can see him and his tribe being massacred by the while man because of our love. At age 12 I did not know what happened to him, just that he and his tribe went away and never came back - or so I was told by my family. This is the life where I move forward and marry Bill - whose name is Will in this life and I befriend a Native American woman which has Bill/Will up in arms.

In a different life, no idea of time frame but I believe it to be the middle ages perhaps. Will and I are being led underground through some sort of tunnel system or maybe it is the underground catacombs in Italy or France -- not sure. But we each have on a cloak, pulled up over our heads that is a rusty color. We make a turn and we're captured. Cut to our execution and I can hear people chanting about witches. We are staring at one another and I can hear his thoughts as he says he will find me again. We tell each other that we love one another when we're pushed into the water - our hands behind our backs, weights on our feet. We turn to look to each other through the murky water as we die.

Will is telling me that I have to get out of here- that I have to go and take some herbs to this woman who is dying. He is in a rush to have me leave, but before I am to go - he kisses me and tell me how much he loves me. He seems panicky and I want to stay. He says he has a lot to do and not to worry - but for me to go now. I know something isn't right, but I do as he says and I take the herbs to a house where the woman is just fine. I am told that Will has been taken into custody as a witch. I can hear him tell me that the town needed someone, and he was going to protect me, so he sacrificed himself. I am put into the underground - I go into hiding.

On the day of his execution, I arrive at the place in disguise, a cloak on, I have a scarf covering my face - it's chilly outside. He knows that I'm there and he is looking for me. They offer to blindfold him and he says no -- still looking for me. He spots me and our eyes lock. I know that if I cry people will know that I am there and therefore his death would be in vain as I would die to - and our work would stop. I can hear him tell me that our work must go on - I must continue. He says that he loves me and that he will find me in the next life no matter what. I tell him how much I love him too and to please find me. They light the flames and he is burning - but he will not look away from me - nor I him - I must keep looking at him. All I want to do is to throw myself down on the fire and save him - my soul is being ripped out and I am in so much pain I can barely breath. I see the life leave his eyes and his soul leave the body as the pole and his physical self go up in flames and the crowd cheers.

I back out and go into the woods where I throw up. And then I run - and keep running and the tears are flowing so fast and so furious that I cannot breath. His eyes - they are something that I will never forget. And I brought myself out of the session - I didn't want to know any more. I could feel his pain when he was on fire. I had to mentally cut off the telepathic bridge with him.

And to this day I know those eyes - I have never forgotten them.

Now somehow I have to pull myself together before I go to get my son in 15 min. This was certainly painful, but does explain a few things to me. I hope this means we are ready to move onto the next step. The fact that this was done on the Imbolc where it is my Goddess, Brigit's day, does not surprise me one bit.

Will just told me that we will finish our work in this lifetime. Our time has come.

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)