Past Lives, Emotions And No Where To Go!

I'm sitting here working on THE BLACK TRIANGLE -- and it's a tough go. The relationships between the characters are heartfelt - and I can feel their emotions as I type. I can feel the struggle, Jeta, the main character has trying to keep her girls alive in a concentration camp while she's falling in love with an SS officer. As a mom - I know the lengths I would go through to save my son from harm - there isn't anything I wouldn't do. Parents shouldn't outlive their kids. At the same time - Jeta is a woman who craves love and has that primal urge to survive. I get that too.

As I sit here and feel their EMOTIONS - it actually forces me to examine being psychic - and what I've discovered thus far. I'm not bitching that I have this gift - trust me - I know that I am blessed. But at the same time I want so bad to talk to someone about what I see - what I hear -- what I know and feel. I write things down - obviously - in this blog and in my journal. I try to pour things out, to empty it from my system. But it still lingers - waiting for me to have a face to face chat with any of the guys: Vincent, Will, Bill, Ted or George.

With every karmic and/or soul connection that I discover - I too then discover the feelings for the past associated with that soul. The good - the bad - it doesn't matter, what matters is that they are all there. I keep them bottled up - because, what in the hell am I going to do with them? But I get to a breaking point -- and I reached it again. The BT is an emotional story that takes all of my energy not to cry as I rewrite -- so I cannot use that energy to hold back the sea of emotions and past life memories.

I really don't have much more to say. I don't mean to sound bitchy - I guess I'm just frustrated. All this information & emotions and no where to direct it. I'll be able to patch it up - keep it bottled again -- but I'm telling you, I know I'm a leaky dam. I have to talk to one of them soon or go up to Glacier National Park and just keep screaming until my voice is gone - and I'm too pooped to give a damn.

My soul is stil rested after this last puzzle piece with Vincent. It just really needs to talk - and have someone listen.

Thanks for letting me vent -- back to work I go!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie ;)