Making Amends, To-Do List and Subconsious Reality!

I swear I have no idea where my day went. Granted, today was running errand day. I still have one more stop - but it'll have to wait till Friday. It was a nice sunny day here in Ohio and I figured - why not? Besides - was sooooo tired of sitting at my computer. I also worked on my college financial aid forms and my scholarship applications.

I've used a good portion of brain power on my "to do" list which as I told you guys - I'd be accountable for here in the blog. Working on the BT I have hit a road block that I have to find a way through. The original plan in the script was to have an SS officer and a gypsy woman leave the camp in search of something by orders of Mengele. But the powers that be think it's too far fetched - so I have to have all of the action that I had on the various trips confined to the concentration camp. I've been studying Birkenau for hours -- going over maps - looking at buildings. I have to have an idea of what I'm going to write - and then I'll fill in the details as I'm writing. But I can't find that overview to start with......I have 1 month until this script is due and I have to have it done. I know I'll figure it out - but in the meantime it's unsettling.

That said -- I was able to work out a couple of scenes that I want to add. So that was cool. OBE I got no where with. I just ran out of time.

For those of you who voted in the Start-Up Nation contest - thank you. Winners will be announced in May. Fingers crossed.

My dreams are still really out there - and so *&^% busy. I mean WTF? On top of it I can't remember a dang thing. I asked Ethan why can't I remember when I'm usually pretty good at it. He told me the good stand by "You're not supposed to know". I sighed - I couldn't help myself. He told me that if I consciously knew everything my subconscious knew - then I'd be overwhelmed and I'd shut down. The nice thing about a subconscious he said is that it has no distinction between the physical realty and the other worlds/dimensions. So it operates under the assumption that what is going on in the subconscious is your reality. Hence why the thought process and habits are a huge part of our reality. Humm...if I could get my subconscious to believe that I was actually in a physical reality friendship with Bill, Ted, Vincent and Will - would my reality shift to accommodate the world that my subconscious lives in? Or would my subconscious and reality be at war with one another - thereby creating a hell of a lot of inner turmoil?

I must admit - there's a small part of me, I'm ashamed to say, is convinced that I'm not supposed to be in any kind of relationship with anyone in my soul cluster in this lifetime. If that is indeed the case - I must of really screwed up in past lives in regards to these guys to have this happen now. In order to make amends (if there are any to make) would I have to do it in person by having a physical relationship with them? Or could I make amends via our energy fields & souls? Would that heal whatever it is we're stuck in? I should be asleep - but I'm up pondering these things.

I mentioned to Ethan that I have not seen or felt Andrew in along time. He said that Ethan is off working with Vincent. He does stop in daily to see how I'm doing - but Vincent really needs him right now. I'm thinking it's time for some chick power: Iris, Jezell and Brigit. As soon as I typed that I heard Ethan say I was crazy - lol. So what's his point?

Seeing that I will be a pain in everyone's rear end if I do not get to sleep - I'd better scoot.

Samatha and AJ - how did you do on your projects today?

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)