I finally had my first...

...Ever facial and eye brow shaping upon arrival in CA. During my facial, when she removed the 1st hot towel from my face, she dragged it across my neck. In that instant I had a flash memory of Bill wiping down my body in a past life. The setting appeared to be Asian - no idea the year. There seemed to be much red in the expansive room, and it was richly decorated. I was on a "bed" on the floor, in a ceremonial dress (I think in red as well). Bill had a very somber look on his face, eyes bloodshot. He was taking a cloth (looked like one of those poofy, round bath sponges that you can buy today to put body wash on), dipping it in water, wringing it out and wiping down my right arm (which was the side he was on) and my hand. I was dead and he was getting me ready either for a royal showing or for the funeral or burial.

I wish I knew more about this life time - but that was all my flash permitted me to view.

Tonight is a short memo - I've been up since 3:30 am (I made the Easter ham) and it's now 11:11 pm.

Until tomorrow:)
Allie ;)

I am what I am.....

So, how did I become the person I am today? Good question:) I'll tell you a bit abut myself.

I have always had a passion for metaphysics (and for Harrison Ford, but he's another topic altogether) - always. Being brought up in a catholic home was, well, restricting - and I rebelled. I had a very hard time believing that if I did not follow the rules of the church to a "T" that I would go to hell after death. I mean, come on - if God is all forgiving (as he is) why would he send you to repent your sins for all eternity? To me - didn't make sense - not even at age 5, which was when I started asking about being "born again" (reincarnation) to the new priest. He humored my questions about life, death and the afterlife until I was 18 and moved out of my home. I've been to church I think5 or 6 times since I moved out and I'll be 38 this year. This is something else I could never understand - if God is everywhere, then why must I go into a church to talk to him? I preferred to chat to him anytime and if I wanted some peace during our talk, then I would relax outside, in the woods or by a stream. I still do this.

I thought to myself one day - when the time comes and I'm at the end of my life - what will hurt more: the things I tried and failed at or the things that I was too scared to do, the "What if's". I hate "What if's" so I made the decision that day to live my life the way I wanted to and to try to help others live their lives.

I read a lot about anything in the metaphysical realm. I have books on past lives, life between lives, witchcraft, numerology, candle magic, herbs, many books on stones/crystals, healing, astral travel, feng shui, aromatherapy, tarot, runes, angels, spirit guides, dreams and dream travel. You know what I'm missing - a book on soul mates. Is there a book out there that deals solely on soul mates and soul circles? If there is - can you let me know? If not - maybe I ought to write one.

I have been a collector of stones/crystals since I could walk. My house has them all over the place - most of them though are in my home office. I am the keeper of the most amazing wand I've ever seen. The man I adopted it from could only give me a sketchy history on it - made by a man named "Hawk" in Cleveland Ohio back in the 90's and it was featured in "Lapidary" magazine. It has a copper tube, with a suede wrap. On the copper end there is a generator quartz crystal with a rhodochrosite - moonstone - rhodochrosite - larimar, larimar stone, moldivate - emerald - ruby - parti sapphire, larimar stone - all intertwined with copper. The other end is silver and on the end is a larimar egg with two rows of lapis - sugilite - larimar and one row of rose quartz - sugilite - larimar - all intertwined with silver. The man at first was not going to sell to me - said it was simply not for sale. I knew it belonged with me - so I told him everything is for sale - how much does he want? He named a price and I paid it. Since that day my husband worries every time I go to a gem/mineral show or something arrives from eBay:)

Through meditation and my past life regression + my spontaneous glimpses about past lives, I have discovered that my lesson in this lifetime is patience. I'm not a very patience person - just ask my family:) But - I have improved dramatically over the last several years. Maybe that was why the Divine let me know who my primary soul mate (from now on I'll say PSM) #1 was back in 2002 and who PSM #2 in 2004. Do you know how frustrating it is to know WHO they are, WHAT they do, WHERE they live and not be able to do anything about it? It's quite maddening really. It tests my patience all the time - especially if I'm in Calif. I know it'll all come together - I had a premonition on how it would all work out - but I'm not going to print that just yet as it'll happen within the next year, so I'll write then:) But between that knowledge, my child, my husband (who is my exact opposite) and trying to get a screenplay sold in Hollywood - I'm tested every darn day. I pray that I'm learning what I'm supposed to so that I don't have to do this again.

I'm not sure where my optimism stems from. I've always been a "glass is half full" kind of girl. Life is hard enough without always worrying about everything. My husband - has got to be the biggest pessimist I've ever met. We cancel each other out most days. Maybe part of my natural optimism is my belief that we are what we think. In other words - if what I thought was negativity, then that would be the order I would put out to the universe and that is what the universe would return to me. Same goes for positive thoughts = positive returns. If everything were made up of energy - then why wouldn't our thoughts affect that energy?

Everyday I try to do something nice for someone else. I also permitted myself daydream time. I try to get to the "Y" 3 x a week for weight training and 5 days a week for swimming - but the swimming I've been lacking on. I also try to meditate every day. Since I've been back from CA, I've only meditated once and that was last night. I contribute to animal and nature charities and I also sponsor a woman in Nigeria who is trying to get back on her feet.

I want to relearn how to ride horses (it's been 20 years, so I need some lessons), learn Tai Chi and how to fence. I've been fascinated with sword fighting for what seems like forever - when I was 10 it was really fueled by "Star Wars". I'm good at it and I've never had any lessons. I could sword fight with the teenage boys next door as they've played "war" since the 1st Lord of the Rings movie back in what - 2001?

I have days where I'm full of confidence and other days where I would rather stay in bed. I'd have to say though, I have more confidence days than not. I'm rarely ever depressed and if I am - it never lasts long - maybe a day or two at the most. It's the worst really when either PSM #1 or #2 is depressed as I can feel their emotions and them mine. So if they are both having a bad day I'm pretty well screwed. But if they are both having a good day - well watch out!

I try to absorb as much knowledge as I can every day.

My dreams are so active and I travel so much at night - that talking about this subject should be a whole different entry. But I'm naturally predisposed to travel the Dreamscape.

I'm not sure if this fully answers the question that someone asked about how I got to who I am today, but I hoped it at least help you understand who I am.

I believe I've babbled on enough for one day. I've got to get up at 4:00 am tomorrow to make the Easter ham:)

Take care,
Allie ;)

The Rock...

No- not the hot wrestler turned actor. But the rock I found on Malibu beach while on my trip last week. I was walking along the shore line collecting shells for Kyle (my son) and stones for me (I have a massive collection of stones - I can't seem to ever have enough).

I came across one stone that in the water looked blue with brown streaks running through it in a spiral fashion. I picked it up right away and my 1st thought was - this stone belonged to Bill (he lives in the area). I pushed it out of my mind as I said to myself "yeah, right". Something the other day told me to get the stone- the vibrational energy in this being is unbelievable.

I guess the Divine thought it was time that I knew that my 1st instinct was correct. I had it in my receptive hand and I had the same wave of energy shoot through me as I did the day I discovered who my primary soul mate - Bill was. The energy was so powerful that it gave me an instant headache and made me ill to my stomach = plus I had a hard time standing. I'm fine now - and holding the stone, I can feel its strong energy, but I won't get ill again because that gateway has already been opened.

I simply cannot believe it. I'm shocked - the same out pouring of crying came as before. It just seems so far fetched to be true - yet I know it is true.

This whole thing is still weird:) Note to self though: cannot sleep with this rock again! The energy was very powerful and kept me awake most of the night. But this is what I got from the stone about the spirit inside and about it with Bill.

Bill found the stone while he was in New Zealand. It's my belief that he found it on the south island while he was fishing. He kept the stone (as he collects like I do) and considered it his lucky stone. He also would meditate with it. He carried it everywhere with him - including his next trip to the Middle East.

Early last year when items were stolen form his car - they nabbed his backpack with some personal items it in plus also this stone and a couple of others. The thief tossed the stones in the ocean and the back pack but kept some of the more personal items.

The spirit itself tells me that he is Shiva - who is a Hindu God and the god of destruction (not as in destroying everything - but for endings and then the new beginnings). The stone is blue and brown - when I looked up Shiva he is blue with brown hair. I'm also told that my feeble human brain cannot comprehend everything - so my lessons will be transmitted directly to my soul and by pass my brain. Not very nice - since now I won't remember, consciously, what I'm being taught. But he's probably correct - my brain cannot absorb what he wants to teach me.

My eyes are brown and Bill's are blue - both the same shade as on the stone. Someday when I see him - I'll have to give him the stone back:)

Take care,
Allie ;)

It's been a day of drama.....

Sometimes I can never figure out where the day goes. The morning started on a promising note - but then it went to hell after that. Had some problems with my 4 year old after he tumbled at school - spent a good portion of the day at the hospital.

Ever been to the emergency room? Emergency my a@@. You need to have an eyeball fall out and blood squirt from your eye socket before anyone takes a look at you. BTW...my son's Godfather is a ER doctor and says that if you want to be waited on in under an hour - you need to come in bleeding - the more blood the better. He wasn't kidding!

My readings - didn't get done. Had to reschedule all for Friday.

My Dead Zone spec script that I'm trying to write - I'm about to pull my hair out. It's getting better - at least now it reads like an episode of DZ.

Last night's dreams - in school AGAIN! There was a short scene though - where I sat with three friends and they did not like another friend of mine who was not there. They didn't trust her. I think that stems from my friends and an ex client/friend who ripped me off $900.00.

Did I ever tell that story? An ex friend of mine, we'll call her "D", was "helping" me get my gypsy script into the hands of the actors who I wanted to play the main parts. It was decided that it would be best if I had an entertainment lawyer - since she was in LA and in the "biz" she said she'd hook me up. Long story short - when I went out to LA in Nov 2004, I called the place she said she had retained for me. They never heard of me. She wouldn't give me a contacts name or number - said she wasn't at the office - but her car - and didn't have the info with her. Now, she lives in LA, and you spend A LOT of time in your car - but come on!

My inner voice told me something was off when I sent her the money - I ignored it, IGNORED it! What an idiot! I thought -- this person knows more about me and my life than anyone - she's my best girlfriend - what do I have to be worried about?

Well - I emailed the lawyers office when I got back to Ohio. Explained who my contact was and whom she worked for and could my info be under either one of the names? I talked to "D" shortly after the law office emailed me back and said "No" to all. "D" freaked on me and said that I did HER wrong. That once someone does her wrong she wants no part of them. Her relationship with the script and me was over. She promised to send me my money back once I sent her copies of the canceled checks. I sent them 4 times. No money.

I did HER wrong? Can you believe that? Then I talk to the manager and the agent of the actor she said she had a meeting with - and they never heard of her. Talk about wanting to kick my a@@ straight to the curb. I can't even begin to describe the hurt I felt - I was crushed.

So whom did I run into when I was in LA last week? Yep - "D". I was leaving a Starbucks in Simi Valley - she was entering. I knew it was her before she got close to me - she had the nerve to take off her sunglass and glare right at me - I glared right back. Did I say anything? Nope? I was actually pretty darn proud cause the old me of a few years ago would of beat the livin' crap out of her. But now I know that the universe will take care of her. Not only did she mess with me and attract that negativity - but also with the 5 million or so gypsies that died during the holocaust. It was their story she trampled on and made a mockery out of. I wouldn't wish that type of negativity on anyone. I wish her luck - cause she's going to need it. Did I tell you about the rock I found while on the beach in Malibu? No? Okay - I'll save it for tomorrow!

Have a good one!
Allie :)

Dreams, Screenplays and Other Things.....

I have the oddest dreams sometimes. Now that Bill is way out of my time zone, we don't have as many shared dream visits as before his trip over the pond - but once he gets back I hope to pick up where we left off. This is not to say we still don't meet - because we do - however we're lucky to have 30 minutes in the same dream. The rest of my dreamtime I seem to be either in school or on a visit with either Ted, a member of my soul group or a deceased family member.

Last night and the night before, I had dreams that involved jumping on an all white bus and traveling to an underground school. In order to get to the school, my fellow students and I had to descend through the center of an empty, round, holding tank for water or oil - made from cement and having no lid -and then down a ladder. Once below, we were all to embark on all white planes - which plane was determined by the ticket we had in our hands. I hopped on the plane and made it to college (I think - it was an advanced school). Along the large hall that was to be my classroom, there was a bar/pub. A man with a dark complexion (he appeared to be Hindu to me) tried to talk me into having a drink. I declined. He kept pushing (he must of known my love for beer - Guinness to be exact) for me to drink and I kept saying no. He was very pleased that I did not give into the temptation - he said I passed the test. At this point in time - my cat Darin jumped on my head waking me up. This wasn't my first visit to this school - it all felt familar - nor do I think that it will be my last.

I haven't had time to meditate since I arrived home. I keep trying and there are too many distractions. By the time the house is quiet, I'm too tired. I'm always amazed at what I have to get caught up on when I get back home from a trip - no matter what the length. Anyway - I'm going to have to find time, as I get edgy when I do not get my alone time.

What is weighing on my mind today is whether or not to convert the screenplay I wrote about the gypsies and WWII to a book. It's a damn good story - it really is. I've never been so proud of what I have written before this. But to make it a book - I will have to dive in deeper to the subject matter and I had a hard enough time writing the script. I took actual history events (experiments done to gypsies in the Family Camp at Auschwitz/Birkenau by Dr. Mengele) and intertwined them with fiction. I cried and cried - but I also laughed and loved.

Here's a short description of the story: Inspired by true events, a gypsy woman and an SS officer fight to suppress their growing feelings for one another while the love of her life fights to survive Birkenau during World War II.

But I can just feel that it is my calling to write the book as well. I keep putting it off and there will be a point in time when I can no longer do that. Having the book will help to sell the screenplay and people need to be educated on the gypsies in the concentration camps. I'm not a novel writer - I'm a screenwriter. But I will take classes in order to learn how. I teach people not to ignore their inner voice and what am I doing? Ignoring my own. Not very smart.

I'm going to enter the screenplay in a couple of contests to see if it has the merit I feel it does.

Time to sign off for now - I have my "Dead Zone" spec script to keep writing, my column to do and a few more readings.

Take care,
Allie;)

Where to begin?

It seems that I've got a lot to say - or so I think I do. I mulled over today what I should include in this post and concluded that I'll first mention my past life regression. As a Catholic, I was taught it was a sin to think about PLR - that once I die it's either heaven or hell. But staying true to form - I didn't listen and investigated anyway:)

An FYI - I know who my primary soul mate is - in fact I have two. Many PL practitioners may argue about this - but I know what I know. Names below of people in this life time have been changed to protect the innocent and the ignorant.

I had a past life regression last week in CA. It was fantastic! I have been on this past life therapy email list for 4 years now - never said a word. Well I finally decided to tell a bit about myself and my circumstances (without revealing any names or initials) and asked if anyone here was in the LA area as I'll be there and would like a regression. A woman, Rebecca, stumbles by the list and the 1st message she reads is mine. She emailed me and we set up a session:) She wanted a topic for us to concentrate on - so I picked what past life would help me in the present to get back with Bill physically.

She wanted me to go back to happy times when I was 15 (I picked when I met my 1st husband and his best friend at "The Barn" in Canton, Ohio) and then 4/5 (I choose the arrival of my sister and moving into our new home in Hartville) and then through a blue mist. Once through the mist I was to see a long tunnel. Along the tunnel I was supposed to see a variety of lights or doors - how many lights/doors I would see would depend on how many lives I've had. I saw a very very long tunnel of doors on both sides. Around one door on the right, was light. I grabbed the knob and entered.

I had bare feet, female, about 16/17. I stood in green grass in the middle of a forest with mighty oak and maple trees ( I think). Wore a tunic/dress made of silk and it was the color of lavender and white - nothing on underneath. It flowed very nice and reminds me of the dress of Jesus. Around my head was a crown made from twigs and purple (I think Lilac) flowers. They were weaved together - the crown did not hurt my head. I was very giddy and excited. Next to me stood my father - by looking into his eyes I knew it was someone I recognized from this lifetime, but was not in my immediate circle of friends or family. He told me to calm down and be patient. He knows I'm excited but being impatient will not hurry things along.

In front of me are two rows of trees - with a walkway of green grass between. On the trunks of the two rows of trees, purple (again I think Lilac) flowers spiraled up the trunks for decoration. On the grass lie red flower petals. It's my wedding day.

Next I am standing in a field/meadow across from my husband to be. He's 22, very handsome and in the same outfit I have on, but more tailored to a male. His color though is light blue and white. The color of our outfits are our family colors. His name is Phillip and when I look into his eyes, I melt and I know it's Bill (primary soul mate). We are both overly excited to be getting married to one another as we are both privy to our past lives and know that we have not had an opportunity to actually be husband and wife until now. His vows are long and very loving. I cry, he cries - everyone cries. There are 25 people in attendance. Presiding is a woman - all in white with a red sash, with a crown of white and red flowers. She is not a minister or priest, but we call her a Goddess and her name is Athena. Around the perimeter of the meadow, there are so many woodland animals - deer, squirrel, chipmunk, raccoon, etc...watching the ceremony. It is as if we have their blessing.

When she pronounces us eternal partners - we turn to face the guests. They are seated on stone benches. In between both sides of guests, there are three arches of white flowers that we must walk through. A man jumps up and hugs me very tight - kisses me on both checks and does the same to Bill/Phillip. He is about 22 and by looking at him I know that he is my brother and that it is Clive -- Bill's friend from this current life.

As we walk through the arches - birds and butterflies follow us - the sounds of the birds are beautiful and are our wedding music.

We get to the celebration and there are hundreds of people there - the whole town has come to celebrate.

Bill/Phillip would call me Sunshine. I couldn't remember what, if any, nickname I called him. Nor could I remember my own name.

I was asked by Rebecca, what from this life that I am supposed to learn. I said "patience". Anything else she asked? I said no. So I went to the ending of this life.

I was 62 and doing dishes inside. No indoor plumbing and we had servants - but I gave them the day off. I preferred to do hands on stuff at the house - I hated being looked after by servants. I experienced a pain in my chest. It hurt, but not enough to alarm anyone. I then had another pain that sent me to the floor - I knew I was having a heart attack and that this was it. I telepathically called out to Phillip. Before I knew it he was there. I was staring into his eyes and he is begging me not to go. He is crying - I'm trying not to. I tell him it's okay - that we will be together again - we both know that we will get another chance at this. I feel the tugging that it is time - and while staring into his eyes, I die.

I am now an observer watching him sob - it's so painful to watch him hug my lifeless body and his body heaves so with sobs. I see a light that I am supposed to travel to - but I know that I cannot go - not until someone else arrives to help him. Before I know it - Clive arrives - he had a feeling he was needed. Their cries calm down enough that I am able to send a beam of love into both of them. When I know that they both felt my presence - I go into the light.

It was such a surreal experience. I felt each emotion as I relived it in the past life.

I'm looking forward to having another PLR here in Ohio within the next several weeks. But this time I want to concentrate on Ted - my other primary soul mate. For some reason in this life he is not as advanced as Bill and I. What I want to know is what past life can show me how to help him in the current life.

Time to sign off and head to dream time. I'm sure I'll have an interesting post about a dream tonight - I usually do since I visit other people in their dreams - with their permission and I'm very respectful of their space.

Take care and have a great night!

Allie;)

Coming Soon!

Greetings Everyone!

Starting either tonight or tomorrow, I will post a daily journal of my spiritual advance, dreams, meditations, soul mates etc... Along with comments on the books I'm writing, my screenplay and anything else that I can think of that may be of interest to someone!

Take care,
Allie :)

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