Will, Constant Cravings And A Stage Show!

Constant Cravings. That's what I'm going to name the book about my soul circle experiences. Because that is what it is exactly - a constant craving to be reunited. It never goes away, never fades. In fact, every day it grows stronger - yet not all consuming. You can hide the cravings, try to ignore them, but they never go away. So every day you hold on - stay strong and pray that the reunion is just around the corner.

I notice an immediate shift in my attitude, mannerisms, creativity - when I allow the soul circle to flow through me instead of fighting that flow. After last week and the pit of hopelessness I found myself in - I made a promise. A promise not only to myself but to the guys as well - no matter what happens, I won't cut off the light. I will not shut them out. It's a horrible empty feeling - one which I do not want ever again. I'm not sure how Bill and Ted go through the day when they cut themselves off. They go through much longer periods than I ever do, when they throw up that wall and no one can get through. I don't know who is worse - Bill or Ted. But I am going to make sure that they never feel like they are alone. I won't give up when they put up that wall - I will not back down. I am more determined than ever to have us connect. I like it when I feel determined. I never fail when I feel this way - never.

What helps me feel this way is Will. He empowers me. His energy pushes me to strive -- to attain a higher power of being. It's hard to describe - but I can sense the shift in my energy. And if you go back through my writing in this blog, you should be able to pick up on it as well. I write the same (I think) it just has a different energy behind it. He has never cut off the light - he has not pulled back, not once. In fact, his energy and connection grows stronger every day.

I did finish my draft of DREAMERS last night. It is now in the hands of my manager so that she can work her magic and tell me what I need to change. My guide Ethan has told me on more than one occasion that with me being more "famous" and all - that I have to strive to be more known - it is to be in the realm of my writing, not of my psychic abilities. There will be a day when I will not do readings much any more and instead will be educating mass through my writing. But he doesn't come out and say if my writing will be in the form of books. When I press for an answer, I am alluded to me making movies and stage plays.

My cat just ran off with my pop tart. Seriously - she just did. I looked over and she was dragging it out of my office. SIGH.

Anyways - not me "in" movies (God forbid) but writing them. However, I get a very vivid picture of Will and I doing a stage play based on our reunion journey. It's too vivid to be passed up. The stage has very few props on it - not much in set design. Every show is different - there is no script. Each performance is organic. He'll start with something and I'll flow into it and visa versa. We act out our emotional roller coaster. It's a goal to show people that reincarnation is a part of life, that soul mates/circles do exist but it is not an easy relationship to maintain. Eternity may bring with it a lot of love, but it also brings a lot of baggage -- and the soul forgets nothing. Plus - it's important to get across that if a person experiences what we have (and still do) that they are not crazy. Every day brings a new realm of possibilities to the table. Every day they are there -if you ignore them, they will still be there. But after time they feel more like baggage, wearing you down until you finally act on it and lighten the load.

And on that note - I'm taking my son to the Polar Express today. Things to do.....

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)

Disconnection, Water Ripples And Energy!

Not hearing from me for any length of time can never be good. It means that I'm stressed - period. If I'm stressed, I can't write anything except for readings. For readings, they're easy for me to do regardless on what kind of mood I'm in as they're not about me:) But anything creative or about yours truly - I get blocked. Which is where I've been all week - with the exception of Monday. My stress can be caused by a lot of things -- too busy, family, kid, money, commitments, things moving too slow, too fast, etc...

And of course when I do get blocked, a whole lot of things happen that are never in my best interest. But when I'm blocked, I'm blocked from everything - the Divine, my soul group, friends, family - anything. It's like my energy field throws up a huge wall that even I have a hard time removing. This week I tried doing my energy exercise every day and it didn't make a beans of difference in the long term. I could feel the energy surge as I was doing the routine, but then it dropped as soon as I was done instead of standing fast. Plus, concentrating on doing it was very difficult. My concentration would only hold for a few minutes at a time. What would interfere? Anger.

There's never one ting that throws me into this block. But once the ball starts to roll, it rolls. Thursday night I was actually cursing everything (exception my son who was in bed) and was telling the higher powers that I had enough. I'm tired of all of this. I'm tired of what I see, what I feel on a spiritual level - yet it alludes me in my physical life. I'm tired of hope. I went on to say, what if I just quit all of this - Gypsy Advice, the books, the blog - helping people spiritually -- and went back to college? Got a job in a bank, went back to school to get my degree in Criminal Justice and just tried to be as normal as I could -- with a "normal" life of a house, a job, a partner, dogs, cats, kids -- etc.... What would happen then? Would my visions go away - my soul circle detach? Could I live a normal life with a boyfriend and be happy? My guides said no. 1st time I heard them all week and they were very clear about it. No matter if I tried to alter course, it would make things more difficult for me, but things would still progress - period. And if they had to - they would do something drastic to get me on the path and moving forward like they did with my cheating ex. So me being me said -- well damn it give me a sign because I'm tired. One of the guys -- anything, let me see it. So I turn around and what do I see - something about Matt. For a spilt second I felt better.

Last night I just couldn't take it any more, being blocked like that isolates me and I hate the disconnect. I don't function well and I do take notice that things around me get worse, not better the longer I disconnect. So after indulging with few things that always make me feel better (an episode of Psych, my animals, and a bowl of peanut butter ice cream w/magic shell) I asked for whatever is blocking me to be removed overnight so that I can get back to business.

Now I don't remember my dreams in any huge context -but I do remember Bill, Ted and Will showing up at different times. I should also note while I'm thinking about it that Will came through every day as I was trying to do my energy exercises and pushed me like he was my energy coach. Not even him could get through this week except for those moments.

But I woke up and I feel better. Now physically I have that stupid chest connection thing I get every year - but it is not as bad as the norm. Although my voice keeps coming and going and I sound like a smoker when I cough.

So that's where I've been this week: aggravated, frustrated, angry, hopeless and disconnected.

Many times I could feel Bill trying to break through. He was there - and I remember asking him - what in the hell do you want? Why now? I told him to go away. At first he wouldn't - but that wall around me was pretty thick, so he stepped way back. Now he's a bit closer.

Okay - now that was a first. Off to my right, the scenery changed to a ripple water effect. Have you ever seen the original Stargate - the movies? When they walk through the Stargate the 1st time, the way the stargate moved, looked like they were going through water. That's exactly what it looked like. I couldn't see it straight - it was off to the right. Glass on, glasses off - same thing. I tried to look through to see if I could "see" anything through the water ripples and I couldn't see anything but a white looking blob of light. It was very odd. Only lasted like 5 minutes. I have no idea about this one -- very baffled. It was almost as if I could see the doorway between dimensions. And you know, there has to be a doorway to another dimension. But what triggers the door to open? How long does it stay open? Does it ever close?

Off to work on DREAMERS. I may hop onto Keen today - so if you want, stop by and get a reading.....

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)