Soul Cluster, Dreams and The Next Best Author!

I know - it's been awhile. No I haven't been off having the time of my life. Instead I've been neck deep in a pile of homework  - both for the U of A and for the Sex Coach Institute. Plus for U of A I am helping with a couple of research projects. I get to study for finals my birthday weekend - oh goodie - and then after final's week I'll have 1 week off and then it's time for summer classes. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE school - I only wish I had more time in the day to get everything done.

My kids show idea that H'wood likes but won't take a chance on - I decided to make it into a book series. I had thought about it before - but pushed it aside in hopes it would make it to TV. When that fell through - my manager suggested the book series. I decided ok. The only problem is my muse is on vacation.

It's been that way since I kept the guys at a distance. Then when I cut them off completely I kissed the muse goodbye. I don't like it - but it is what it is. I need them. It takes a lot for me to admit that. Because I not only don't want to need them, I don't like it. After Bill and Will slammed the collective door in my face - I really have wanted no part of them. But yet here I am.

Gloria, my guide/ascended master, has been encouraging to let my soul cluster back into my energy. I asked her - if I was supposed to cut ties of those who were holding me back - then why am I supposed to let them back? She answered - who ever said they were the ones who were holding you back? Ahhh...errrrr.....wasn't it my former guides? Or you? She said no - not exactly. While it was mentioned to cut ties it was not specific in who that should be. I said it was them. So I cut the ties.

Did I progress after the ties were cut? No. So they weren't the problem. Damn. Gloria then chimes in and says the problem is with me (dang it). What am I supposed to do - cut ties with me? Can you even do that? Yes she says (I'm like WHAT). But the ties you must cut are not to yourself - your soul. But to the ties of every negative thought - deed - action that has been done towards you. Every defeating blow - that is what you have to disconnect from.

I had to ask -- how in the world do I do that? Do I ask a guide/angel to do it? She says no. What I am to do is to call on my Star people for in their light  there is no wrong. That's exactly what I did. As I asked for them to remove all of the defeat I feel a tingling sensation (like pop rocks) start at my crown chakra and work it's way down my body all the way to my toes. It felt very energizing and soothing. One of the nicest things though when I did this is I saw Ted's face just as clear as could be in front of me. I've missed him.

I wrote the above before I went to school yesterday. Today (Tuesday) I'm at school again - but I'm watching over a research lab - this way I can finish the post!

Yesterday in class Will made his presence known. Wow! This would be something for the OBE blog (if you don't see a link to OBE - that means I haven't written it yet). Let's just say that he was back with all of the energy he's been holding back since I pushed him away last year. It took all I had to pay attention in class. He certainly shot up my sexual energy - good God! But at the same time what happened -- my muse came back. Which is what I needed.

Bill and Ted have also made an appearence - with Bill sticking around longer than Ted. I had a quick vision with the two of them - we were in a room with a lot of people. I had just got done yelling at Bill. I turned to leave the room and Ted said - Please don't leave. I stopped for a moment - then took a step towards the door. He said - Please. I turned to look at him  -- he steps in front of me, puts his hands on my shoulders and says - I didn't know. You can't punish all of us for something they did. It's not fair. Looking into those sexy green eyes of his must of gotten the best of me. Because before I knew it we were hugging. Vision ended. Vincent also showed up for a few seconds here and there during the day. It's like he pops in - checks on me - and leaves again.

On the way back from school last night I was thinking.....in past lives; Will has sacrificed himself a few times to save me. He has loved me completely and selflessly; Bill has loved me, treasured me and took care of me; Ted has devoted himself to me with love, selflessness and friendship; Vincent has loved me whole heartedly, has protected me and has always showed me the lighter side of life. In this life I'm starting to think that I have chosen to take it alone - void of them in the physcial sense - so that I realize what a lucky person I am to have these wonderful souls in my eternal life. Sure in some lives they've tried to control me, kill me or have me killed. With my attitude I can't say that I blame them - lol. But overall I have been extremely blessed. I do wish though that I would be able to tell them (physcially) in this life - but maybe it is just not to be.

Lately I've been having some odd dreams about my pets. Three nights ago it was Gimli running around the house like a mad dog. Just round and round and I was so scared that he was going to run out into the road. Two nights ago is was my cat Trouble. I had to put him in his carrier to take him to the vet. The landscape was all frozen. Snow and ice everywhere. Somehow Trouble has gotten outside. I looked and I looked and I couldn't find him - I was just beside myself. There were people around but I couldn't get anyone to help. Then last night is was all about Gimli again. Someone had opened the front door to my house (but it wasn't my house but my mom's) adn he ran out. There were a bunch of guys in the driveway and I asked them if they had seen Gimli. They're like - what? I'm saying a hyper blond lab - you can't miss him. No one knew where he was - I was heartbroken. Now Trouble has been to the vet several times - he seems to be ok. Gimli I never let out of my sight for very long when I'm home. So I don't know what's up.

T from MI - before I totally forget -- got your phone message - all kicks ass:) Hope to see you on Oct and good luck in May:):)

I would appreciate your help! I've entered my "Out of Body Ecstasy" book into "The Next Best Spiritual
Author" contest a week after everyone else. Could you please vote for me? And ask a few friends to do the same? The authors with the most votes are the ones who move to the next level. Each author is allowed
one vote per ...person per round. So far I don't have the votes needed to move to the next round. The phase ends on May 2nd (someone who you know and love - it's their birthday )
 
Link: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=2917
 
Thank you for your help!
 
Since I asked the Star People to help out and remove all of that yucky stuff I didn't need - I haven't had one bad, self-defeating or negative thought. It's been great!!
 
Yes - if you sent me email - whether it's one of my normal emails or on FB - I know:) I'll get back with you as soon as I can.
 
That's about it for now. Since the guys are back - I have a feeling more stuff is going to be happening!
 
Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)

The Guys, A New Guide and Attachments!

I'm tired today - but not as bad as I've been. Last night I slept like a semi-rock. I say semi because I don't think I've slept like a "rock" without waking up at some point since 1996 or so. Any ways - I think it's in part to the question I had asked about Bill - I got my answer.

My Question: Will Bill honor our soul agreement in this lifetime?

Monte's Answer: I feel that he's on a different path than you are and even though he loves you, I don't see that meaning that your path and his will be be forever...not in a relationship of love...but more of a Spiritual kind-ship...He's not satisfied with his life right now and wants more than you do so he's looking a lot more down the road....You're looking more in the now and you both need to be looking at what life offers for each of you along the same path, not what you get versus what he gets....What I'm saying is; Your priority should be to want the same thing or negotiate them to a conclusion so you each know what's most important.

My Response: Unfortunately for Bill and I the balls in his court and has been for the last 5 years. I have no way to contact him in the physical realm - but he stops by my blog to check in on me and he has my phone number. There's so much more we could accomplish for the world together than separate. It's frustrating. Especially since I know he's not satisfied with his life and he's looking for more. The nightly dream and daily telepathic contact is nice but....

Monte's Answer: ***This is holding you back as an attachment so 'Let Go, Let GOD', everything has a purpose so don't allow this BIG issue of yours distract you from where you need to be Spiritually....I do understand and feel your frustration at the lack of of an acceptable reason for Bill to be with you on your path, but he has work to do before he can accept a partner in his life just as you have your work to do....Release him with love and let Guidance take it from there...

He went on to tell me about his experience which was similar to mine. He told me about removing attachments and because of that one of his guides left and a new one arrived. This got me to thinking -- I haven't had a new guide in a very long time. Maybe before my divorce. Before I got divorced, I must of been doing some major growth because I had a lot of guides come and go.

Last night I decided to ask the universe to remove anyone or anything from my life that wasn't for my highest good. When I went to sleep I felt lighter. I don't remmeber Bill or Will being in any of my dreams.

In the shower this morning I remembered something that Monte said - he consciously removed the attachments. So as I was rinsing off I brought to me each of the guys - said "Go in peace, do what you have to do, and then come back." Next was my 2 exes. For them I said:  "Go in peace and never come back." Each one I sent out into a brilliant white light. All of them were rather easy to let go of but Ted. My heart chakra felt heavy, then had a vibration and a tug. He looked horrible as I let him go - but I knew I had to.

As soon as the last one was gone - some of my current guides took a bow and left: Ethan, Edward and Robert (all 3 said they would be back at some time) and Iris (who said she's not coming back). Then I heard a high pitch sound and saw a very vibrant golden light. I heard a female voice say that she was here now. I recognized the energy immedately from a past life regression I had 3 or 4 years ago. If I could figure out how to transfer the regression session from a cassette tape to here I would. Anyways -- in the regression session this soul/light came through me to talk to Cindy (the regressionist). This light was part of my star past.

I asked her name. She said it was a sound - close to what we could say is a "C". She told me to give her a name if it made it easier. So I called her Gloria. She told me I was one of the Star Children - Ted and I. This was something I already knew. Then she said that my son is also a Star Child - he was Ted and I child - and becaue he is a star like me, it's one of the major reasons he and I butt heads. His soul is almost as old as mine and like me - he's a leader not a follower.

Gloria then went on to say that I sabatage myself because I'm not like everyone - and I want to be like everyone. So I do what I have to in order to remain - normal. Well as normal as I can be :) She then showed me a diagram...went something like this:


STAR PEOPLE (1% of all souls)

                               MOST OF THE SOULS (98% of all souls)

                                                                        DARK SOULS (1 % of all souls)

She went on to explain that if I deny who I am - then the scale tips in the Dark Soul's favor. Especially since Ted and my son have no clue about their light - yet.

I asked if we're all stronger when we're connected - then did I do the wrong thing by releasing the attachments to the guys? She said no. Even though on the physical plane the attachments were cut, on the spiritual plane we're all connected. On the physical plane they were (unconsiously) draining the light from me. In order for me to "shine" then I have to refuel and allow my light to shine through. When the guys are all strong enough on their own - that means they completed their tasks - and they will all be back (with the exception of the exes, of course).

I ran a few plans past Gloria and she liked them. When I go to impliment them into GA or OBE, I'll let you guys know:) Since our convo this morning - she is off my right side - the light is constant and strong. I know there was much more said during our talk, but right now I don't remember all of it.

Off to the side of the blog I put links to my Twitter page and my new Facebook page.

It feels nice to be writing in the blog again.

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)