Soul Cluster, Dreams and The Next Best Author!

I know - it's been awhile. No I haven't been off having the time of my life. Instead I've been neck deep in a pile of homework  - both for the U of A and for the Sex Coach Institute. Plus for U of A I am helping with a couple of research projects. I get to study for finals my birthday weekend - oh goodie - and then after final's week I'll have 1 week off and then it's time for summer classes. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE school - I only wish I had more time in the day to get everything done.

My kids show idea that H'wood likes but won't take a chance on - I decided to make it into a book series. I had thought about it before - but pushed it aside in hopes it would make it to TV. When that fell through - my manager suggested the book series. I decided ok. The only problem is my muse is on vacation.

It's been that way since I kept the guys at a distance. Then when I cut them off completely I kissed the muse goodbye. I don't like it - but it is what it is. I need them. It takes a lot for me to admit that. Because I not only don't want to need them, I don't like it. After Bill and Will slammed the collective door in my face - I really have wanted no part of them. But yet here I am.

Gloria, my guide/ascended master, has been encouraging to let my soul cluster back into my energy. I asked her - if I was supposed to cut ties of those who were holding me back - then why am I supposed to let them back? She answered - who ever said they were the ones who were holding you back? Ahhh...errrrr.....wasn't it my former guides? Or you? She said no - not exactly. While it was mentioned to cut ties it was not specific in who that should be. I said it was them. So I cut the ties.

Did I progress after the ties were cut? No. So they weren't the problem. Damn. Gloria then chimes in and says the problem is with me (dang it). What am I supposed to do - cut ties with me? Can you even do that? Yes she says (I'm like WHAT). But the ties you must cut are not to yourself - your soul. But to the ties of every negative thought - deed - action that has been done towards you. Every defeating blow - that is what you have to disconnect from.

I had to ask -- how in the world do I do that? Do I ask a guide/angel to do it? She says no. What I am to do is to call on my Star people for in their light  there is no wrong. That's exactly what I did. As I asked for them to remove all of the defeat I feel a tingling sensation (like pop rocks) start at my crown chakra and work it's way down my body all the way to my toes. It felt very energizing and soothing. One of the nicest things though when I did this is I saw Ted's face just as clear as could be in front of me. I've missed him.

I wrote the above before I went to school yesterday. Today (Tuesday) I'm at school again - but I'm watching over a research lab - this way I can finish the post!

Yesterday in class Will made his presence known. Wow! This would be something for the OBE blog (if you don't see a link to OBE - that means I haven't written it yet). Let's just say that he was back with all of the energy he's been holding back since I pushed him away last year. It took all I had to pay attention in class. He certainly shot up my sexual energy - good God! But at the same time what happened -- my muse came back. Which is what I needed.

Bill and Ted have also made an appearence - with Bill sticking around longer than Ted. I had a quick vision with the two of them - we were in a room with a lot of people. I had just got done yelling at Bill. I turned to leave the room and Ted said - Please don't leave. I stopped for a moment - then took a step towards the door. He said - Please. I turned to look at him  -- he steps in front of me, puts his hands on my shoulders and says - I didn't know. You can't punish all of us for something they did. It's not fair. Looking into those sexy green eyes of his must of gotten the best of me. Because before I knew it we were hugging. Vision ended. Vincent also showed up for a few seconds here and there during the day. It's like he pops in - checks on me - and leaves again.

On the way back from school last night I was thinking.....in past lives; Will has sacrificed himself a few times to save me. He has loved me completely and selflessly; Bill has loved me, treasured me and took care of me; Ted has devoted himself to me with love, selflessness and friendship; Vincent has loved me whole heartedly, has protected me and has always showed me the lighter side of life. In this life I'm starting to think that I have chosen to take it alone - void of them in the physcial sense - so that I realize what a lucky person I am to have these wonderful souls in my eternal life. Sure in some lives they've tried to control me, kill me or have me killed. With my attitude I can't say that I blame them - lol. But overall I have been extremely blessed. I do wish though that I would be able to tell them (physcially) in this life - but maybe it is just not to be.

Lately I've been having some odd dreams about my pets. Three nights ago it was Gimli running around the house like a mad dog. Just round and round and I was so scared that he was going to run out into the road. Two nights ago is was my cat Trouble. I had to put him in his carrier to take him to the vet. The landscape was all frozen. Snow and ice everywhere. Somehow Trouble has gotten outside. I looked and I looked and I couldn't find him - I was just beside myself. There were people around but I couldn't get anyone to help. Then last night is was all about Gimli again. Someone had opened the front door to my house (but it wasn't my house but my mom's) adn he ran out. There were a bunch of guys in the driveway and I asked them if they had seen Gimli. They're like - what? I'm saying a hyper blond lab - you can't miss him. No one knew where he was - I was heartbroken. Now Trouble has been to the vet several times - he seems to be ok. Gimli I never let out of my sight for very long when I'm home. So I don't know what's up.

T from MI - before I totally forget -- got your phone message - all kicks ass:) Hope to see you on Oct and good luck in May:):)

I would appreciate your help! I've entered my "Out of Body Ecstasy" book into "The Next Best Spiritual
Author" contest a week after everyone else. Could you please vote for me? And ask a few friends to do the same? The authors with the most votes are the ones who move to the next level. Each author is allowed
one vote per ...person per round. So far I don't have the votes needed to move to the next round. The phase ends on May 2nd (someone who you know and love - it's their birthday )
 
Link: http://www.nexttopauthor.com/profile.cfm?aid=2917
 
Thank you for your help!
 
Since I asked the Star People to help out and remove all of that yucky stuff I didn't need - I haven't had one bad, self-defeating or negative thought. It's been great!!
 
Yes - if you sent me email - whether it's one of my normal emails or on FB - I know:) I'll get back with you as soon as I can.
 
That's about it for now. Since the guys are back - I have a feeling more stuff is going to be happening!
 
Crystal Sunshine!
Allie :)